I feel so alone.

Yet I have so many people around that love me.

I cry myself to sleep now.

That is, if I get any sleep.

My mind will start racing in class and I’ll be on the verge of tears but I’ll force myself to stop because I don’t want people to see that. To see that I’m weak. No one can make us feel inferior without our consent. I refuse to give them that.

You know that feeling?

When you’re happy and sad at the same time but you spend more time trying to find the reason as to how that can be, opposed to why that is?

I guess that’s where I am right now.

It’s like, one minute I’m all happy and excited. Because I should be happy. I deserve to be happy. So many great things are coming up. Yet all I can seem to do is stare off into the distance and replay this war that’s going on in my head.

I’m letting all these little things get to me. And they’re bringing me down. So far down. But I don’t know what the fuck to do about it.

I’m lost.

I don’t even know what I’m writing about anymore.

I think I’m going to be sick.